Dawn

Posted: December 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

.My name is Dawn Fahey. I am an EX junkie with a heart for the still suffering and their families. I am now a recovery coach and I find these feet taking me all over to help the still suffering with my HOPE,LOVE, and words….I would like to share a “short” version of my story with all of you here. I am an advocate for open door recovery..which means I believe there are many different paths one can take to find much needed relief from addictions of all kinds. I do not promote any one kind of recovery option but encourage any and all LEGAL and proven methods we have here currently in this country……….
I spent years of my life in the grips of heroin and multiple other drugs. I have done everything you can imagine and then some. I have sold myself for dope…I have overdosed countless times..I spent time on life support only to go back out and use again..I have tried to commit suicide only to go back to heroin…I have been raped…beaten….robbed..
I have also robbed…lied…cheated..stolen from those dearest to me…been on countless psych wards….been to countless rehabs..been to jails….I was a terrible mom…terrible daughter..terrible friend…a terrible person..
..I could not give what I did not have…and all I had left to give was torment and darkness and hate and pain and misery….my heart had become very hardened over the years from all the drug use and mess that come with that life. I was homeless…sleeping in buildings with no heat…no lights…spending my last dime on dope…desperate to get away but unable to control it..the power it had over me was enormous.
..I am the person you see standing on the corner begging with a sign for money..I did this for months….lonely and tired but UNABLE to control myself to STOP…I would cry as I stood on that corner…because I was so humiliated and scared an tired and disgusted but I still COULD NOT STOP USING DOPE.
….at one time in my life I had a home and a car and a good job..and heroin had brought me to my knees and had beaten me down to a pitiful begging bum..a no good bum with nothing left..broken and sick and ready to die..totally worthless to myself or society….
..It was raining one day and I had my sign standing on the corner…sick and miserable…waiting until I had begged enough to get myself well again….when a man pulled up in an empty lot next to me and motioned me over to his car..he rolled down his window..handed me some money…and then looked at me with the most loving eyes I have ever seen in my life and said three simple words to me…I LOVE YOU!..it had been so long since I had heard those words….it hit me like a MACK TRUCK…those three simple words penetrated through 20 years of hate and pain that had been layered around my heart and cracked the shell…it hit me so hard I could barely stand…I was speechless..I looked at the money and it didn’t even matter anymore..he had given me a twenty and any other time I would have ran to my dealer but this time was VERY different…it didn’t even matter…
IN THAT VERY moment GOD spoke to my heart and said..”Dawn..that is me…I LOVE YOU”…from that moment forward I began the process of recovery..and yes it was a process but over a short period of time the life as I had known,which was not much, was completely torn apart…God wrecked every part of my inner being and it is the most beautiful place I have ever been he took every single piece of my pathetic ,shattered heart into his hands….he began to REBUILD and HEAL 20 years of mess…one layer and one step at a time..he began the process of making beauty from ashes…
..so you see…it is possible for a heroin addict like me to recover…to live again..to love again….to be FREE…completely and totally free…all glory and honor to GOD…
..He has chosen me to carry my message of HOPE to the still suffering and their families..this is my life and all that I am…He sends me out on the streets to the dope neighborhoods and to the corners and to the worst parts of town imaginable…to stores and to schools and to churches and to rooms full of people…. where the lost and the hurting stay..hiding because they have been shunned…all the addicts….young and old and new and longtime users..all shapes and sizes and colors,…the ones labeled by society as no good losers that are a waste of time…and as I allow the love he has so freely given me to flow out..it pours out onto the streets and into and on these beautiful people…these people that he loves so very, very much… It heals them…delivers them.I share my story..I share a hug..or it may be a kiss…or may be some of my sandwich and drink of my pop….may be just listening at times…may be crying with them…. may be prayer..may be getting them help….but ALWAYS they see his life changing love that I allow to flow through me…and even if I do not see the “CHANGE” happen every time I have planted that seed..the same seed that man PLANTED in me that rainy day on that street corner…so ashes to beauty….I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!

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